New Year's Resolutions
Recently, my friends and I were sitting in front of the fireplace discussing past New Year’s resolutions abandoned three weeks into the new the year. Having spent some time at Herbert Benson Institute at Harvard Medical School in the past year discussing motivational interviewing and compassionate healthcare, I couldn’t resist asking my friends what got in the way of committing to their New Year’s resolutions. We determined that to keep our resolutions we needed to:
- Set goals with intention.
- Focus on the process rather than the end result.
- Be kind to ourselves when we get derailed.
- Surround ourselves with support.
We tend to reflect on the past year in regret or feel ashamed of what we haven’t accomplished rather than focusing on the positive changes that we did make. New Year’s resolutions are easy to make and hard to keep. We make commitments that we are unable to fulfill and are left feeling disappointed in ourselves. With disappointment we often lose track of our goals rather than reflecting on what prevented us from achieving our goals in the first place. We have firm expectations of specific outcomes, but we are still human, prone to slip ups and mistakes. We live in a constantly changing environment which can derail even the most tenacious among us. I think the problem with resolutions is that they put us in a “good-or-bad” or “achievement-or-failure” mode. We start obsessing with outcomes rather than focusing on enjoying the process that we have committed to. I have learned that we must discover OUR OWN PERSONAL obstacles that prevent us from achieving our goals.
Last year, when I spent time at Harvard I found that that the research on the role stress management and mindfulness play in dedication, staying committed to lifestyle changes and remaining resilient when facing adversity was mind blowing. After reviewing the research, I can’t help but make stress management an important part of my practice at NaturoMedica. I like to share my expertise in health in order to focus on empowering patients to make the lifestyle changes they desire! I like to partner with my patients in goal setting, recognizing the obstacles that can be removed, and providing the support my patients need on their journey toward health. One of the modalities in which I use with my patients is biofeedback and mind-body medicine. Research has shown that stress management and behavioral changes go hand in hand. Have you ever noticed that you make different and more impulsive decisions when you are under stress? Well, this is where mindfulness and stress reduction become so important when we are trying to make lifestyle changes in the New Year! Through biofeedback and mind-body medicine you get to create more awareness of what YOUR stress response is: how you’re behaving in the presence of your stressors/triggers. The first step is awareness and insight into the physical and metal/emotional responses in the presence of stress and the desired changes follow with the tailored treatment plans.
This new year, I encourage you to take these steps to set yourself up for an enjoyable journey toward attaining your resolutions.
1. Setting intensions/goals:
Sometimes we set goals that are set on a specific outcome. For example, we say, “I want to go to lose a certain amount of weight”. It’s important to reflect and know why this is your intention this year. Honoring the personal meaning behind an action helps us maintain our commitments. This helps us slow down and evaluate our actions when we want to return to old habits. It also helps us get back on track after getting derailed for a day or week. We have to constantly remember that it’s not the mistake of what we did yesterday that will keep us off track, but it is our next action that truly matters.
2. The process vs. end results:
When we set intentions and don’t have a road map of how we want to reach a goal, it is very difficult to visualize getting there. We’ll constantly live on the edge of slipping off our plan because we can’t see the bigger picture and the process almost becomes a punishment. When I am helping patients set a plan to achieve goals, we get very specific about the process of achieving the goal. We discuss fun ways to get to this goal, because the truth is, we can’t live for the future. How can we make each moment be as pleasant as possible? Honoring the intention that we set becomes easier when we have an enjoyable journey each day.
3. Kindness:
No matter what intentions we set for ourselves or others, there are days that we don’t live up to our expectations. A fundamental lesson I have learned through my mindfulness practice is creating awareness without any judgement. We learn that we are constantly beginning again with each breath. When we sit down to meditate, we start with a moment of awareness, then our mind wanders off to feeding the pets, picking up the kids and that dress that’s in our shopping cart online. Then we bring our attention back to our breath, because our awareness has revealed to us that our mind is wandering off, and all we need to do is bring the attention back to the breath. We don’t beat ourselves up for the wandering mind. We just use it as a cue to bring our attention back to the breath. So how can we apply this to every day intentions and resolutions? We must practice a non-judgmental practice where we can be bring our focus back to the present moment of what our next step will be in THIS moment because we can always begin again. It’s the decisions we make in the moments of insight that will make all the difference.
4. Support:
From a young age we’re told that we need to be independent or else we look weak to others. I couldn’t disagree more with this idea. When we are making major changes in our lives, we need support. This could be attained from friends, family, or even your doctor.
I would be honored to help you achieve your New Year’s resolutions and make 2017 your healthiest year yet. During the months of January and February, mention this blog and receive $50 off (regular price $199) a one hour biofeedback session.
